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The Wellness Hub

September 13, 2020

How To Bring up Sexual Issues in the Bedroom

Sex can be a fun and enjoyable experience, but it can also bring with it a lot of awkward situations. Whether you’re educated or more inadequately educated about the topic of sex, growing up, sexual issues are not really something that get addressed.

No one takes you aside and lets you know about premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. It’s as though these things are reserved for when you get older, so instead they sweep it under the rug. And the longer this goes on, the more this creates secrecy and taboo around these subjects. But it’s not just the one who experiences this personally that can feel awkward or embarrassed. If only they taught us easy ways to say, “honey, it seems as though your penis isn’t working too well, let’s get it checked out.”

Toxic masculinity also plays a part. We are still that society that sees women as the gatekeepers of sex, the ones who “take it” and men as the ones who should initiate and be responsible for delivering orgasms all around. But all that does is take the ownership of sexuality away from women and transfer it to men. A man’s sexual performance is so closely tied to his masculinity and this is where it becomes awkward. 

So how do you deliver that blow?

Sometimes, there is no escaping uncomfortable conversations. They are a part of life and also often a part of sex. But within those awkward moments, there can be vulnerability and that can help to bring intimacy into a relationship. Who would have thought talking about a a flaccid penis could actually help your relationship? These are the types of issues a couple needs to work on together and this can build the strength to help you get through other issues that arise.

Before you launch into having that awkward chat, you need to consider this: how he addresses things in the bedroom might give you an indication of how he is going to discuss it with you. If it’s swept under the rug and not acknowledged, this might be an indication to tread carefully.

Here are a few tips on approaching the situation:

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September 13, 2020

5 Ways to Improve your Sex Life

If only I had a dollar for every time I was asked how to spice things up. From the moment I started my career as a Sexologist, it has been the most common question and will most likely continue to be until the day I hang up my hat.

Many people struggle in the bedroom, but it’s not always because there is an issue necessarily to struggle with. We are not educated enough about sex and what we should expect from it –  it’s often a matter of unrealistic expectations mixed with reality that plays in our head.

Many people look for the solution. Is it a position, a pill, a lube or a sex toy? Whilst all of this

can be a lot of fun (trust me on that one), it doesn’t always fix the entire problem. Instead of thinking 50 shades will cure the bedroom blues, we need to start with some of the simpler steps you can take to work on a healthy sexual relationship instead of trying to build a red room.

We are a sex-obsessed society, so of course the first place people want to start is in the bedroom. But often, those same people don’t stop to consider what the rest of their relationship is really like. Having issues in the bedroom is often not an isolated problem. If things are tense inside the bedroom, things can be tense outside of the bedroom too. If there are some relationship struggles going on in general, it can also have a flow on effect on your sex life. 

Adulting is not always easy. There might be bills, pressure from family and work stress, making you feel like you are being pulled in too many directions. Add another person into the mix with their own stuff going on and suddenly being stuck in a bit of a rut would nearly seem the norm. This is the pickle we are not taught how to get out of, but yet so many are in. 

But it doesn’t have to last forever and there are things you can do to help this.

Whilst I don’t have a magic solution for bills and work stress, working on your relationship can help increase overall satisfaction and also help with your attitudes about sex. So where to start?

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September 13, 2020

 How Couples can Talk about Erectile Dysfunction and Have Better Sex

Issues in the bedroom are common. Being a sexologist, people open up to me about what’s going on in their bedrooms, even random people I meet in my day to day life.

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July 14, 2019

Simple Strategies for Coping with Premature Ejaculation

There’s nothing worse than reaching the finish line right after getting started. You want to have an intense, lingering experience with your partner, but sometimes your body gets ahead of itself.

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March 24, 2019

What People Want From Sex Will Probably Surprise You

Sex and sexuality are important parts of life. Aside from procreation, sex offers a number of benefits, like helping you sleep, reducing stress, improving muscle tone and circulation, and even boosting your immune system.

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