If you’re like many guys, you wish you could hold off longer before finishing in bed. You want to last as long as possible and please your partner as much as you can before enjoying your moment.
But that isn't possible for a lot of men. 30% of men report that they consistently ejaculate too soon during sex. Some claim to orgasm within 15 to 20 seconds of penetration. Others finish without any direct stimulation at all.
Premature ejaculation (PE) is one of the most common sexual health conditions in men. It can be distressing and emasculating, especially if sex is important to you.
Sadly, men rarely talk about it. They are too embarrassed to seek medical help or emotional support from their peers. We’re supposed to “get over it” or “learn self-control,” though that sort of advice rarely helps.
In this article, we'd like to push through the taboo surrounding premature ejaculation. It's a real problem that a lot of men experience, but it must be confronted if you want to have a fulfilling life. Let's talk about premature ejaculation, its causes, and treatments.
What is Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is tough to define because there’s no clear time when a man is supposed to ejaculate during sex. One man might think he has PE because he can’t last for two hours, whereas another man might think he has trouble ejaculating because it takes 15 minutes.
It depends on your partner, as well. If your partner doesn’t need long to feel satisfied with sex, you may not care how long you last. But if your partner wants hours of sex, you may be frustrated at your inability to hold back. So it’s all a matter of perspective.
Generally speaking, however, premature ejaculation is considered a problem when you orgasm a minute or two into sex or orgasm before penetration or direct stimulation. It can feel like a betrayal from your body. Your mind and your partner want to continue having sex, but your body moves through the process too quickly.
Just like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation is something most guys experience at some point in their life. If PE only happens once in a while for you, there’s probably nothing to worry about. But if it happens regularly and you’re frustrated with your sexual performance, it might be signs of a deeper health problem.
Unlike most health issues, PE is especially frustrating. You’ll deal with a sore back or wrist pain, but problems with your bits just aren’t acceptable. This is why PE can affect your self-esteem, confidence, and even your relationship.
Causes of Premature Ejaculation
The causes for premature ejaculation aren’t known well, mostly because we can’t really define premature ejaculation (like we explained above).
We know that brain chemistry plays a role because some medications can affect how long it takes to ejaculate. If you’ve ever taken a recreational drug or prescribed medication, you know it can extend the amount of time it takes to ejaculate. (Warning: DO NOT use drugs or medications to prolong sex.)
Hormone levels, abnormal levels of neurotransmitters (chemicals in your brain), and inflammation or infection in the prostate or urethra can affect your ejaculation habits as well. A serotonin disorder, for instance, could cause you orgasm quickly, as could an injury to your pelvic region.
Emotional factors play a role as well. Stress, depression, anger, guilt, anxiety, and relationship problems can all play a role. Sadly, worrying about premature ejaculation can make the problem worse. (Erectile dysfunction comes with the same problem.)
Premature ejaculation can also be caused by erectile dysfunction. Some train themselves to orgasm quickly because they’re afraid of losing their erection.
Excessive masturbation is another common cause. If you masturbate quickly, you can condition your body and brain to get to the end right away. Your body will have a hard time distinguishing between masturbation and sex.
Age plays a factor as well. Younger guys with less sexual inexperience and more penile sensitivity tend to finish faster.
Diagnosing Premature Ejaculation
It helps to talk to a doctor if you are struggling with premature ejaculation. PE is difficult to diagnose because it doesn't have a clear definition, but a doctor will still have some advice.
The first thing your doctor will ask is if you have been dealing with premature ejaculation for a long time or if the problem is new. If you have had the problem for a while, there may be an underlying biological problem. Regardless, the doctor will give you a physical to rule out injury, infection, or other health issues.
The doctor will also ask you about erectile dysfunction. In many cases, guys who struggle with premature ejaculation also struggle with erectile dysfunction. Treating the ED can help PE.
If your PE is especially bad, your doctor may refer you to a specialist - like a urologist. The urologist will ask you deep questions about your sexual habits and tendencies.
But it won't be a comfortable conversation. It's a tough subject to talk about. One of the reasons we like to work with guys online and over-the-phone is because they are more comfortable and honest with their doctor when they aren't face-to-face.
Treating Premature Ejaculation
If you think you need to be treated for premature ejaculation, your first step is to speak to a doctor. Since there are many causes for PE, you will need a professional to help you identify the cause and put you on the path to better sexual health.
Treating your PE may be as simple as talking to a counselor for emotional or psychological help. If there is an underlying relationship problem, you might speak to a counselor with your partner. Topical anesthetics and medications are also options.
If there is a lifestyle cause, your doctor may recommend some changes. You may need to quit smoking and drinking, increase your water intake and daily exercise, or otherwise engaged some healthy lifestyle habits.
Here are the potential treatments for premature ejaculation.
1. Behaviour Techniques
This is the most common way guys deal with their premature ejaculation. It involves taking simple steps to delay orgasm during sex and retrain your body to delay ejaculation. A doctor will have advice for your specific situation, but this often includes masturbating an hour before sex or avoiding penetration and putting more emphasis on foreplay.
Exercise can help as well. Improving the strength of your pelvic floor muscles can help you delay ejaculation and stop an imminent ejaculation. You can strengthen these muscles by performing kegel exercises. You can do Kegels all day long by simply squeezing the muscles you use to stop urination.
Using condoms is an easy way to reduce sensitivity in your penis. This should help you delay ejaculation. Some condoms even include a numbing agent to help you last longer. This is a great method to try before visiting a doctor.
3. Topical Anesthetics
Topical anesthetics are creams and sprays that include a numbing agent. You apply the anesthetic to your penis 10 to 15 minutes before 6 to reduce sensation. Ultimately, this should delay ejaculation.
Some topical anesthetics are available over-the-counter. Others require a prescription from a doctor. They are generally well-tolerated, but some have side effects.
4. Oral Medications
There are some oral medications that could delay ejaculation, but none of them are approved for that purpose. your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant, analgesic, or phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitor for off-label use.
This treatment involves one or more sessions with a mental health counselor. This person will help you work through problems in your relationships and life. Counselors will help you reduce your performance anxiety, cope with stress, and learned behaviors to delay ejaculation.
If your PE stems from a problem in your relationship, the counselor may ask you to bring your partner into the therapy sessions. Together, you can work through any feelings of shame, anger, or guilt and that could be causing your premature ejaculation or making it worse.
6. Future Treatments
The scientific community has been researching premature ejaculation for some time. There are a few medications that may combat PE in the future. Dapoxetine, Provigil, and Rapaflo are some drugs to keep an eye on.
Premature Ejaculation in Your 20s or 30s
If you're suffering from premature ejaculation in your 20s or 30s, you are probably worried. You’re supposed to be having the best sex of your life, right? What if these years pass by and you never get to experience that kind of fulfillment?
Premature ejaculation may cause you to feel embarrassment or shame. You might be unwilling to discuss the problem with your partner, loved ones, or even your doctor. It can feel like a blow to your manhood.
The best advice we can give is to tell you to try to relax and stop comparing yourself to other people. Ejaculating quickly is not an insurmountable problem. There is nothing broken about you or your penis.
In fact, many guys have unreasonable expectations about how they are supposed to perform during sex. What men and women want from sex will probably surprise you. Most people don’t want sex to last as long as porn or the movies lead you to believe.
Furthermore, most partners are quite understanding about it. They’re happy to work with you to overcome this challenge or find ways to enjoy sex in spite of it. The key to treating premature ejaculation is to start by taking the pressure off yourself.
If you are struggling with premature ejaculation, we strongly encourage you to talk to a doctor right away. Ignoring your symptoms and your frustrations won't make the problem go away. In fact, ignoring it could make the problem worse.
Are you suffering from PE? These actionable strategies will help you last longer in bed and ultimately have a more fulfilling sex life.
Talk to one of our doctors about premature ejaculation today. We’ll answer your questions, help you identify the cause, and prescribe a treatment. We do everything online, so it won't be awkward. If you need to purchase a treatment, we will ship it to your door discreetly.
Most guys experience PE at some point in their life, but that doesn't mean you have to accept it.