What is the Difference Between Perimenopause and Menopause?
Let's clear up some common confusion. Menopause is a single, specific point in time: it’s diagnosed after a woman has gone 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period. It's a retrospective finish line. After this point, her ovaries have stopped producing eggs and her hormone levels are consistently low.
Perimenopause, on the other hand, is the journey leading up to that point. This can be a gradual, multi-year process, sometimes even a decade. During this phase your partner’s hormone levels, particularly estrogen, begin to fluctuate. These unpredictable shifts are the root cause of many of the changes you both may notice.
What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Perimenopause?
Because perimenopause is a gradual process, its signs can vary. She may experience some, all, or none of these symptoms, and they can change in severity over time. The physiological changes that occur can impact many aspects of life, including mood, sex drive, and body image.
Changes in her period: One of the most common early signs is an irregular menstrual cycle. Her periods might become shorter or longer, lighter or heavier, or the time between them may change.
Hot flashes and night sweats: These sudden feelings of intense heat are a classic symptom, caused by hormonal shifts affecting her body’s internal thermostat.
Mood swings and emotional changes: Fluctuating hormones can impact her mood, leading to increased irritability, anxiety, or sadness. It's important to remember that these feelings are often hormonally-driven.
Sleep disturbances: Insomnia or restless sleep is common, often due to night sweats or anxiety. Importantly, quality sleep impacts our ability to cope with stress, cognitive function, and mood, so this can have multi-fold repercussions.
Fatigue: She may feel more tired than usual, even if she is getting enough sleep.
Brain fog: Many women report difficulty concentrating or memory lapses.
Lowered sex drive: Menopausal symptoms such as decreased libido and vaginal dryness or atrophy may negatively alter the experience and desire for sex. These changes can ultimately impact relationships, so open communication is vital.
How to Be a Supportive Partner
Your support can make a huge difference. Here are some key ways you can help your partner through this transition:
Educate yourself: Learning about perimenopause and menopause is the most powerful thing you can do. The more you understand, the more empathetic and patient you can be.
Communicate openly: Encourage open, honest conversations. Listen without judgment and validate her feelings. Ask her how she's feeling and what she needs from you.
Support healthy habits: Encourage a healthy lifestyle, but do so as a partner, not as a coach. Offer to cook a nourishing meal, suggest a gentle walk together, or help her create a relaxing wind-down routine before bed.
Be patient: Symptoms can be unpredictable. Patience and understanding are key to navigating the ups and downs of this journey together.
Remember, it’s not you: Although it may feel like it with the ups and downs, the low moods, the sadness and the low sex drive. These aren’t your fault, it’s not something you can fix, it’s also not something she simply “snap out of”, it’s an unavoidable biological change.
